If you’ve visited MissAshleypants before, you already know I’m a Franco fan. James, Davey, and even that artsy one named Tom all hold special places in my heart. The ongoing joke about James Franco being a “troll” (showing up in every other movie you browse, as well as directing, poetry, teaching, art, etc.) is funny because he really does do everything; but there’s also the ironic element inasmuch as his chiseled jaw, puppy dog eyes, and flashy grin certainly don’t denote “troll” in the traditional sense of some Steve Buscemi looking Chupacabra creature who lives under the local bridge and makes you give them money to pass-
Oh wait. Toll. That’s toll I’m thinking of….
Anyway, so James was doing well at ruling the world until he took it a step too far and tried to dabble in music.
Newest video upload to Facebook features Franco lip synching to Justin Bieber’s “Boyfriend” (Scroll down ALL the way to the bottom to see embedded vid.)
You know, everyone has their Achilles tendon, and for James, it must be singing:
Okay, well maybe that’s amazing.
And it kind of makes me want to drive around in the convertible I don’t have and pretend my life is a montage of carefree youth. But, still – that’s just because he’s not even singing, but cooing in my ear with his Kerouac meets Cash tone about Marlon Brando or something through half of it….Right? I mean, while I was initially half “confused dog” and half “you go, girlfriend!” about his new venture into the world of music, I had to wonder if he’s possibly a tad tone deaf.
And if I am too.
Because I definitely keep replaying this over. Annd over. And – especially with Smokey Robinson augmenting some of the other tracks….
Alas. When it comes this musical poetry, and his Bieber bit, it is we who got trolled. And now: Franco lip synching to… Justin Bieber! In a Justin Bieber wig! For a real treat, fastforward to the bit where he (intentionally, likely) messes up the words and starts to say “Hey boy, lemme talk to you” (instead of “girl”, as the lyrics go).
Obviously, the above vid is a parody. But “Daddy” – the Franco music group – is f’real. It’s not for everybody, but I have to admit, I like the vintage feel. Pssh. Homeboy needs new friends like me (who have even less musical talent) to help him mold this genre into the even-better gold it can be and not unleash it back onto the interwebz until it’s the potential perfection we could create – like the sound of two cats dying in the night as they duke it out with tails tied over a telephone wire. James, sweetie, if you can email me that application tonight, I’ll do my best to get on it sometime tomorrow morning and the blind can lead the demigods (not unlike the episode of Family Guy where the dogs walk the humans in a parallel universe).
♪”James needs a new best friend…
I think it should be me…
Instead of all these ‘yes men’…
He could use some Ashley…
And maybe you like gentlemen…
But between you and me…
I’ll fake play your girlfriend
For the paparazzi…”♪
xoxo
<3~A
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