So, if you live Kim Jong Un’s country, guess what you can’t name your kid?

Kim Jong Un.

The North Korean fuhrer’s random ban feels like those girls who post those self-important statuses on their Facebooks about people being jealous or jocking their style – when exactly zero point zero people are even thinking of ‘em. Nobody really wants your name, homie.

Am I right – hopefully?

Because, initially I did believe the masses of this nation had genuinely been brainwashed into believing he was the nuclear bomb dot com. I’ve heard it’s all an act, though, more recently. While, you can’t deny the footage of innumerable people going into hysterics over him like Michael Jackson fans – is it just for show so they don’t get shot like dogs? And because the voting booth for the “other guy” at the elections has a trap door into an alligator pit? Do most of these folks go home, slide back the Un altar, and continue digging at that hole in the floor with a spoon – hoping it leads across the DMZ? Or to Hell? Or anyplace but here?

Maybe I’m totally wrong. Maybe a mass case of Stockholm Syndrome’s transpired.

And they’re all thinking “I want to name my kid after this guy I’ll get shot if I try to leave”.

But alas, they all got shut down like their internet access.

This gif reminds me of un-other Un that Un’s gonna be banning on Jesus’s birthday – when Franco’s new comedy that centers on the dear leader comes out. I remember seeing a teaser for it a while back (when there was some rumor going around that he was gonna shoot missiles at us if we released it).

But I was reminded to see the official one today after this non-news on Kim’s identity crisis:

Hah. “Stallone”. Nice one.

Will I go to a theater to see it? Not unless I’m the date of Mr. F. I hate sitting in a theater unless it’s a live thing where you’re performing – and even then, I’m going to leave at some point and come back (waste of money, ‘cause you miss part of the show). But – as with all my celebs I respect as people – I will pay actual money to buy the DVD once it’s out. In the age of internet piracy being so temptingly easy that doing the right and legal thing almost warrants immediate canonization, I feel like this is more than generous of me. Times like these make me think – for all the changes I’d like to see in American society, it’s a damned good thing I don’t live in North Korea. ‘cause Primewire’d have me in prison forever by now.

Assuming I could get online for my crime fix.