There’s age-ism and sexism.

There’s racism and Jingoism. Speciesism and breedism.

The list probably would go on if I went deep enough into my brain. I actually did just that today, and you know what I realized? There’s one that’s missing from our day to day vocabulary that totally needs to be there: Fame-ism. I mean, there are levels of fame here. You and I are just at at a level zero (maybe a zero point one if you’re internet famous). And people treat us differently than those who’ve shot off the scale and into household-namery. So, what if everyone perceived us peons the same way they do the famous –how would that look?

For instance, why are the following five things true?

1. HOVER MOTHERS

When Kris Jenner micromanages her kids’ gigs, it’s called being a “momager”.

But if your mom accompanies you to so much as the doctor as your patient care advocate, it’s called “hovering”.

2. REHAB OR SPA?

When the likes of LiLo go somewhere to get clean, that “somewhere” is basically the Burj Al Arab with intravenous taper doses. To pay penance for being a parasite of society, they spend their time receiving deep tissue massages after their mandatory lemon-ginger aroma infused sauna sessions.

Comparatively speaking, our getway’d be more akin to a scene outta “Girl interrupted”.

3. IMAGE

Speaking of Angelina, when she stole Brad, all she had to do was a few good deeds and a few new gigs to revamp her image and be loved again.

Yeah…You try bewitching your colleague away from his wife with the follow-up move of serving soup and socks to the homeless. Tell me how it works out for you. Especially when chicks start standing in front of their husbands like NBA players blocking a pass anytime they see you.

4. GETTING HIGH

As a yes-and to the previous two:

When Marilyn Monroe got stoned on pills and slurred her words, she had sexy “bedroom eyes”. And a breathy voice.

When you or I do it, we’re pie-eyed junkies who need “help”. And it ain’t gonna be at Passages, Malibu, either.

5.LOSING IT

When Joaquin Phoenix became a mumbling, sunglasses clad, lumberjack rapper, it was forgivable.

Because actors get “lost” in their craft.

If you or I crack on the job, we “can’t handle the pressure”. We’re a liability. Wait, we all “play roles” when we go to work. But which role is more important? The one that saves your baby from a burning building? Or the one who’s playing dress up for cameras for money? Which one should be getting more empathy, support from employers, and above all – money for it?

Anything to add here, my fellow irrelevant “zeroes”?