I have yet to see the new Anna Nicole movie on Lifetime (‘TV for the bevaginated’), which is supposed to be the pre-eminent oeuvre on Anna Nicole, eclipsing 2007’s Anna Nicole biopic.
When they showed the picture of the actress, I was disappointed. She wasn’t as hot, and didn’t have as crazy a look in her eyes. That was Anna Nicole’s critical mix: she was bangable to the bitter end and had Bette Davis Steve Buscemi eyes.
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Then I saw some clips from the movie. Holy spit, this looks good.
I watched the Anna Nicole drama from her Naked Gun debut to her Skinemax porno “every morning I masturbate when I wake up!” to her fat downfall to her reality show further-downfall to her Trimspa comeback to her awards show downfall to her kid’s death downfall to her kid being born to her eventual, tragic demise. Mostly I watched a lot of Greta Van Susteren, but damn, it was addictive and I was bored with Natalee Holloway.
It was one of those things you just couldn’t look away from. And the movie seems to chronicle that—right down to the weird clown video.
People call her “retarded”, but she outsmarted everyone around her. She became a #1 stripper, married a rich man ready to croak, fought for his money and spited his family, popularized a dying Playboy, made a sex tape, started the reality show phenomenon, and catapulted her way into daily headline news—eventually spiting her backbiting lawyer in the end by screwing him out of money and her child. She was like Forrest Gump with double-Ds.
This movie looks like more of a fitting tribute than just some blond chick in a fatsuit. Plus it stars Virginia Madsen as her mother—and with starpower like that, how can you resist?
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