WHO CARES.

(Yes. Punctuated with a period to reinforce the rhetorical nature.)

No, really, though. I legitimately want to know who cares about an adult hooking up with another adult. If you’ve any fucks to give – any at all – please pass them along to me. Because I’m fresh out. And, like Patrick Bateman, I’m desperate to fit in.

Now that that’s sorted – onto this book I’ve got. It’s called Palo Alto Stories by James Franco and in it, a soccer coach gets “too close” to a player who is underage. The book was recently made into a movie. James plays the coach. The trailer just got posted to Yahoo’s movie section two or three days ago.

Wait, wait wait… So the trailer for a movie where he plays a guy who does the same thing he just got accused of doing – that aired a few days ago? Ha! I TOTALLY SEE WHAT YOU DID TH-

becool

Oh. Okay. #ourlilsecret

I’m not gonna lie. I tried my hardest to sit down and make a legit story out of this, but I couldn’t find any real redeeming qualities other than “He’d send a car, not go to her so the whole thing’s bullshit” and “Wow. The movie looks good.”

If I knew for a fact that all’a this was just a publicity thing on his part to foster a frequency-theme among fans so they’ll remember to go see his movie, then I’d totally bite. I don’t though, and I respect Mr. F, so I’ll spread the message more directly:

“Go see Palo Alto stories if you like.”

More importantly, though: Most of these “news” writers get their info (the stuff you read and believe) through a highly filtered version of the telephone game. That’s why we use words like “allegedly” or link to other articles. So, if we have a modicum of ethics and aren’t lazy, we look for both sides of the story and let you decide – ya know, just to remind you that you still have a mind of your own despite the barrage of salacious SEO slung atchya.

Question: How many articles that you’ve read today tell more than one side?

Nobody’s immune to these conjecture ridden tales. That’s evident whenever social media friends repost them – confirming them via viral validation. Not just with Franco – but every person or event making news. Even I’ve done it.

I’m sure some of the charity crap I’ve shared on Facebook or Twitter may have actually come from scam artists. And there I am saying “It’s a good cause!” How the fuck would I know? I didn’t because I was too lazy to think to check at the time.

Sorry.

If so many of us take these tales to heart, that means newsriters have a lot of frkkn power – but so do you. Take care where you let your power go and what you ask others to believe. Great questions to ask are, “Why did this make news?” or “What else is there to the story?” when we read anything that’s trending.

That said, I guess I’ll go wash my Chris Crocker wig and set up the tent of red sheets in the living room for tonight’s Franco vlog.

(If mom and dad let me stay up that late #imt0tallYaTEENifyoureReAdingthisJAmeszzz)