I know it’d be rude to Firth to say Franco got robbed back in 2011.

So, when I go ahead and say it anyway, let it be known that I’m not knocking Firth’s equally epic-for-its-genre performance. H-h-h-he did g-g-g-reat. Rather, I’m eye-rolling the septuagenarian white curmudgeons comprising the committee of Oscar voters whose perpetual predictability makes the show all but unbearable to watch.

A little variety might be nice…

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And, I know what you’re thinking: “That award show is over, Ash.”

Mhmmm. But you know what isn’t? The next one.

“Great, so I suppose you’re plugging Franco? Big surprise.”

First: Nice double entendre; but I’m a bit ill equipped. Second: Yes. Yes I am. And here’s why:

Harmony Korine wowed us into oblivion with his cult classic “Kids” and then also with “Gummo”. So, when I saw the previews for “Spring Breakers”, I was worried that I’d end up disappointed by some kind of commercialized vapid smut-drivel (given the subject matter and the “Sprang Braaayke” mantra monotonously repeated throughout the trailer).

I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

Now, I didn’t go to film school; so I won’t pretend to know the lingo or how to properly analyze films. However, I do love watching and dissecting them as living pieces of art. As you revisit them, you can take notice of the little things: what music is employed when, montages, camera angles, scene juxtaposition, and so on. I marvel at the minute details, and wonder what the motives of the director were for each.

With Korine, it comes off almost Warhol-esque inasmuch as it doesn’t glorify spring break’s sleaziness; rather, it takes those iconic symbols of pornographic partying and flips them on their heads by barfing it back at you – not in a “Requiem for a Dream” way – but via reiteration and over-stimulation. That repetition is meant to be annoying. The girls are meant to look like used barbie dolls. The gratuitous sex is meant to seem unattractive. I could almost smell the puke and body odor floating off the screen. It was brilliant – as were the former kid-starlets’ subtle segues into more mature roles (compared to some directions taken by other Disney cohort group members)

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However, Franco takes the cake with his method (meth-head?) drug dealer performance. Even if you don’t have the context to fully appreciate his prep-work for the role, he ultimately transformed chameleon-style into a chimera of Riff-Raff, Dangeruss, and other local rappers. The sneer, that southern gangster drawl, the grill, and the daunting countenance he wore (along with his cornrows) – all managed to find its way off screen between takes – and so much so that Selena Gomez even admitted to being a little afraid of him until after shooting ended.

But, that’s what it takes to be a boss.

So, I guess what I’m saying is this: If you happen to be an Oscar voter who happened across my page (and are reading this as you eat your pudding and wait for the Matlock reruns to return from their commercials), I ask only this: Prove me wrong, vote with a little diversity this year, and think outside of the box in which you’ll imminently be spending eternity.

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Xx
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