Every Real Housewife is her own special flower.

Even Elaine Lancaster.

queen

But Aviva from Real Housewives of New York is in a league of her own.

yep…they’re cousins.  Aviva Drescher.

You know that friend in your group who has perpetual health problems?

The one who hits you up with links on Morgellons to explain why she can’t attend a group lunch.

The one who despises her doctor, but visits a new one at least once a week.

The one who puts more effort into examining her food than JFK conspiracy theorists analyze the Zapruder film.

She’s entitled. A very specific breed of entitled indeed. Or as they say in the old country, “a real big c*nt”.

As you all well know, she cancelled out on the Montana trip at the last minute…because of asthma.

in an airport somewhere in Montana, an actual handicapped woman was forced to walk

Not an asthma attack. Not because she was hooked up to an oxygen tank and required a ventilator.

Just asthma.

Aviva is also noted for her prosthetic–and speaking of conspiracy theories, she thinks that people think her prosthetic is fake.

Well, obviously it’s fake–it’s a wooden leg.

But what kind of person would wear a fake leg who didn’t need one? Who could keep up the act for that long?

Like a pot full of New York clam chowder (discarded clam shells from Guy Fieri’s Times Square restaurant, cigarette butts, water from the Hudson) Aviva boils over.

Spectacularly.

In the upcoming episode of the RHONY, (not to be confused with brony), Aviva rips off her leg, waves it around, and throws it in the middle of a busy restaurant.

my god

Don’t believe me? Watch the clip.

You can almost see “the” “Countess” LuAnn’s last three plastic surgeries unravel before your eyes.

Orange County has Vicki with her narcolepsy (code for “I don’t want to hear any more of your sh*t”).

i love this photo more than my family

Beverly Hills has Kim with her rehab (code for “I take pills from Tic-Tac dispensers”).

crystal METH

And every city in the franchise has Andy Cohen as the self-assigned human piñata between a bunch of drunk middle aged women (code for “your wife loves me more than you, unsuspecting husband paying for her Time Warner Subscription”).

in ur TV stealin ur gf

But only New York has a peg-leg who uses her disability as a weapon.