If you’re an 86 year old man, the chances of you marrying a chick who was in diapers when you qualified for Social Security are pretty goddamn slim.

But if you’re Hugh Hefner, it’s just another Tuesday.

this man has had his meat in more women than tofurkey

When Crystal Harris, his newest ingénue and now wife was asked why she married him, she replied as follows:

‘Well for me it meant more security, knowing that I am the one for him,’ she explained.

‘Like we were talking about, there are always girls in and out and always the feeling of maybe being replaced… And he made sure I didn’t feel that way anymore and that was what the wedding was all about.’

In other words: “I married him so none of you other bitches can”.

waiting for your death!

She also brags that since they both studied psychology in school, that they have plenty to discuss.

I wasn’t aware that Marinello Beauty College offered a Psych major.

If you were a guest at this wedding, I just hope you didn’t spring for the monogrammed china on the gift registry.

poor bitch.  the dog looks unhappy too